Surprise!

6/13/2010 - about 9 1/2 weeks (baby 7 1/2 weeks)

It's been about 2 1/2 weeks since I found out I am pregnant, but it's felt like the longest 2 1/2 weeks ever! I go from feeling very overwhelmed to wondering if I really am pregnant.

I had no idea how Scott would react when I told him; I only knew I was freaking out when I saw that test come up positive. OK, make that 6 tests! To my surprise, he didn't flip out at all! I have never met a more even-kealed person in my life. His response? "Well, we knew we both wanted to be together. This will just speed things up a little bit." He seemed to have no question about how to move forward. He is very calming and instantly (well maybe not instantly) made me feel safe.

On Thursday 6/4, I went to see Dr. Grossman, who was recommended to me by Susan Chung. I'm not sure I like him. He was very dry and glib and I kind of felt like he marginalized my moment. He pretty much said, "OK, so I guess you probably looked up your due date on the Internet and ok, here's the picture of your kid." Um, ok. Thanks. He was more interested in my lacrosse career than anything else. I know he sees this every single day a million times over, but he just doesn't seem very caring. Though he was really helpful in recommending hospitals in Atlanta and giving me suggestions on how to find doctors. I guess you can't have it all. I realistically don't have to see him anymore since I'll see his wife in July and then I'll see the dr. in Atlanta through to my delivery. I am going to try to get an appointment with the doctor that delivered Scott's other 2 kids.

I haven't really had any bad pregnancy symptoms...I guess I'm really lucky! So far I've had is really tender boobs. The seem to grow a cup size a day. I had some really bad gas up until about a week ago. I get headaches every now and then and for the first 4 weeks, I was absolutely exhausted! I get tired now, but I really think that's just from being lazy and not working out too much. I haven't had any morning sickness at all - I felt nauseous 1 or 2 times, but I just think that was from taking my vitamins on a near-empty stomach. Sometimes I get indigestion and heart burn. I haven't had any real food cravings, either. I think I have been using my pregnancy as an excuse to eat anything I want, which needs to stop. The only thing that really tastes gross to me is black olives. I really need to get a routine going at the gym. All the classes I like to do get my heart rate up way too high, so I'm going to have to be really disciplined by myself (oh, that works out so well). I have been a bit emotional, but I was already pretty emotional to begin with. I think I am just feeling really overwhelmed with everything on top of the pregnancy. All I can say is thank God for Scott!!

Where to start with Scott??? I couldn't have asked for a better man. It's funny, I look back on that Friday we left Dallas and I remember I had a gut feeling about him. Granted, I didn't quite thing I'd be pregnant, planning to move across the country, and trying to figure out where to fit in a quicky wedding between kids' birthdays and the start of college football, but I knew this would go somewhere good. Anyway. Scott has been so wonderful so far. He honestly is the yin to my yang. When I'm balling my eyes out, he knows exactly how to calm me down and make me feel better. I feel like I can tell him anything, which is such a switch. It's so wonderful to be able to tell him what's going on in my head, whether good or bad, and not have him get defensive. He listens to what I say (most of the time) and communicates really well. I never wanted to go through this alone and I really need a big hug sometimes, but he sure does everything he can to comfort me and meet my needs as best he can. I feel so special and loved! The man has so much going on with kids, work, the park, and he always still makes me feel like #1.

I worry a lot about his kids!! I wish I'd gotten to know them better before this happened, but clearly that wasn't God's plan. I hope my visit in July will be good. I hope they like me. Their well being is so important to me!! I know Scott has done such a wonderful job raising them and they seem so fabulous, but I am terrified this is all going to mess with their heads. They are going to spend 5 days with me and then I'll be there permenantly at the end of August. I'm wondering if I should talk to a counselor before-hand. Scott thinks I should just be myself and I'll be fine. I really need to focus on hanging out with them 1-on-1 while I'm there. Maybe Jordyn would want to go get a mani/pedi with me. I'm not sure about Matthew. Dinner? Maybe working on K'Nex with him...maybe that's more of a solo thing though. Maybe I'll stop stressing about it and hope it comes naturally.